I hate to bring up a matter that may seem so trivial to you, especially during the time of year when the cash flow is short due to buying Christmas gifts for your favorite children and grandchildren but let the record show that not only do you continue to owe $2.00 (Two Dollars) for the last term period in which I earned two A's but you now owe an additional $2.00 (Two Dollars) for this term period, in which I earned two additional A's. Completing my first semester back at college with a GPA of 4.0 gives time for a girl like me to draw a few conclusions. (uh-oh). Two important matters have finally been concluded: 1) It turns out that I don't have an idiosyncratic disease in my brain chemistry causing an unknown DMT by-factor to surround my cerebral cortex, which in turn allowed me to comprehend the inner workings of the occipital lobe within the visual primary receiving area of the extrastriate cortex (see class #4 taken this semester) and, 2) Due to your lackadaisical attitude in sending the proper amount of monies owed ($2.00), not including the additional $2.00, there has been an increase in the interest rate. The current interest rate reflecting from your past credit history is now 24.9%, which by the way, is the maximum allowable legal rate. Believe me you, I would hike it up even more, if at all legal. In essence, you're really getting a bargain. Again, I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you during the holiday season but a deal is a deal. Please do remember: credit cards, checks, or scanned in emailed money are not accepted. Happy Holidays!!
Your loving daughter (the favorite one)
P.S. I could lend you the said monies in the amount of $4.00 but I don't think you'll be too partial to the current interest rate for loans.