Jim’s Best on the Bayou Oyster Stew

(Jim can only make it when Mendy is outta town & then he must eat it & sterilize the pan 
before Mendy gets home – which is no problem as it is DELICIOUS for breakfast, lunch 
or supper—even a midnight snack) 

Almost one gallon of milk (a full gallon doesn’t leave room in our pot for 
the other ingredients)

Start heating the milk at the absolutely lowest temperature possible 

Now drain & add 4 cans of oysters (Jim tried live oysters but they kept 
climbing outta the pot & when Jim tried fresh oysters they didn’t taste as 
good as the canned – Jim used smoked oysters one time & couldn’t even 
get the dogs to eat it after keeping them off of other food for a week) 

Drop in a stick of butter (or butter substitute for you health nuts) 

Dump some pepper on top – not too much as the whole gallon will 
taste like pepper 

Dump one package of Lipton’s Onion Soup Mix on top 

Dump a can of cream of mushroom soup into the pot 

Sprinkle some parsley flakes on top – doesn’t make any difference 
how much, Jim thinks the parsley is for looks only but he ain’t sure 
that it isn’t what makes the stew the best on the Bayou so he always 
covers at least ½ the top of the milk with parsley flakes 

Keep the fire very low, stirring frequently – milk scorches or scooches 
or something, but it sticks to the bottom so when you stir, scrape the bottom 

IF YOU DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THE NEXT STEP, your stew will taste scorched or scooched or something (Jim’s says scorched or scooched or something oyster stew is better than no oyster stew at all) 

After a long time, the stuff in the pot will get hot.  At that time you can turn the temperature up as high as you want to BUT stir continuously & constantly—When you see bubbles STOP = move the pot off the stove & keep stirring for a little while  

Jim prefers to firm up his stew with Keebler Zesta Original Saltine Crackers (only Keebler Zesta Original Saltine Crackers) – However, some people like to float those sissy little oyster crackers on top